back on track

Hopefully Im back on track...writing. It's just that lately I've been more lazy than eveeeer.
So I'm gonna try and start over.
Back in Rome, again. What is it with you bella Roma? What makes me come back all the time?
I felt that I had to take a break, had do take care of some things in Sweden, things called life. And I thought that maybe I would stay there for a little longer than I did in the end.

Love is weird. It's not healthy I think to be in love. Or is it? I just realized that you don't know what you've got until you're missing it a lot. Like the song says.
I've been experiencing things with him that Ive never felt before. The worst thing though is that Ive discovered that Im jealous. ME JEALOUS??? haha if you would have told me two years ago, I would say that you were being stupid, I would never go there! hm right...here I am...and I don't know why...working on it though so please be patient.
What I really think it is though, is not real jealousy, it's just that I'm not satisfied with my life as it is right now and therefore I get more vulnerable and I don't know how to react. So getting my pieces of my puzzle together again, would help a lot I imagine.

After graduation last year, Ive been very confused. Where to go? What to do?
I stayed back in Rome, moved in with the Roman boy(the subject to whom I get jealous sometimes), well he's an adult, but you know what I mean girls. Men will always be boys. Sometimes it's charming and sometimes it's just very annoying.

Well getting back to my puzzle, I applied to go back to uni about a month ago, this time in the States again. Im sure that my long-lost family will be thrilled. They live in Santa Monica and Santa Barbara. Never met them, don't think I ever will. We just share the same features and last name. Where I'll be is San Diego, if they accept me. You never know, but they better because I don't have a plan B. I just know that I need to get away from Rome. Im done with Rome, for now, then you never know if I'll go back. Rome is taking all of my energy, don't know what it is, it's just sucking up all of my positivity and maybe I just need a short seperation from the eternal city.

My friend wrote the other day; The future is the only time that you can still change. He is so right.

So Ill try and do that. Stop being lazy and I'll try to find my track again.