i`ve found myself!!!!!

that´s right! I´m sooo freakin´happy! I´ve finally found myself again. Slowly, slowly Im getting transformed back to the woman that I really am, positive, creative, sweet, determined, goal-oriented. The last period I´ve been more roman- bitchy, negative and stressed. Life was shitty whereas now IT`S FREAKIN GREAT! 

yesterday I found a movie about myself, today I found this music video!

there's a movie about me...?!!!

and it's called, confessions of a shopaholic-in other words me, before becoming poor. maybe that's why I became poor in the first place? well...at least I have my shoes, my bags, my dresses, accessorices, boots, skirts, shirts....the list is looooooooooong, so is the calling list from the bank when I was out shopping too. " Ms Hasselberg, someone just spent a great amount of money on your visa card. Was it you?" hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.......

back

in casaletto con elsk! =)

statement of the day

To feel bad is a good start to something new!

I do agree. I had reached the finish line and it felt like i was swimming under ice trying to find a hole to reach for air. couldn´t live with the feeling anylonger so I made my decision. Now i finally feel better. making plans for the future and actually see some light in the ice.

just wanted to say

that lately I have been quite a load for everybody, as you all know due to a lot of things. 

I just wanna say THANK YOUUUUU for bearing with me and 

Love me when i deserve it the least, cause that´s when I need it the most! 

i need you know, do you love me still?

wow whatta voice...get goose bumps when I hear it.

THANK YOU MY DEAR DEAR FRIENDS! I love you!

still up

talking online to my dear friend in New York. We used to live together so he knows me pretty well. he told me to follow my heart. only I know what that means. 

//Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind// From a midsummer night´s dream by W. Shakespeare

That however is not my decision. I choose me. For once Im going to be egoistic. 

in winter wonderland

i am...in winter wonderland. it´s really nice actually. the other night after our family dinner (we are twelve at the table...with one missing, and two on the way;) so imagine what crazy dinners we have) then everybody out in the snow for some snow sleighing hahahah I was chicken shit scared (well after all im newly operated) then out with my friends. Ive said it before, Im saying it again, Im getting old, it´s not as fun as back in the days to go out. 

and then it happened again, every time I go out in sweden, italians finds me, they always say that they can see from far that Im italian, even though I look more swedish than the princess herself. funny isn´t? they´re right too, I actually feel more italian than swedish nowadays. well not that weird after all hihi. 

as always I can´t meet with everybody I wanna see, nor can I spend as much time as I want too with them I actually do get to see. 

it´s confusing to be at home, when I miss my own home. with my man, in italy. 

my friend G told me today, only important lives have important and difficult decisions to make, otherwise life wouldn´t be that special. I guess she is right. I only wish I knew the right answer. it would in deed help a lot. 

when the mind...

so sorry

for not writing lately. im so sorry for my behavior in general. Im so sorry, but I haven´t been myself. at all. Im so sorry for being a bitch. that´s not me. Im different. Im sorry for letting my surrounding and all the stress getting to me, and for that matter-letting you down. 

Im sorry for being so sorry all the time.  

I know I need a change. 

so that´s what I decided. I´m gonna change page. And finally be myself again. cause I can´t stand whom I´ve become. I´m ready to be me! happy and positive. 

unbelievable

I am in the studio. in action. at work! 

and it feels great!!!

wake up call

my past year has been full of wake up calls. of life. of me. who I am, and why I am acting and behaving in certain ways. 

I´ve been very self-critical. Which has been both good and bad. Bad because it made me realize my mistakes and cons. Good because it made me realize my pros and how I can use them to become a better person - to myself. 

In some ways it´s been a year of hell. I´m happy that I´ve been going through it all though. Before I was too spoiled. Didn´t at all realize the value of money. I just spent them. It´s only when you have none to spend, when you realize the importance of them. Isn´t that funny? 

Well I got my wake-up call on time. I still have time to change my life. To a better one. 

a crush?? a fling? a what??

I just received a message from a friend of  me and my man. 

not really something that you should write to your friend´s girlfriend. 

I was sitting still, frozen, and read the message over and over again. hoping that he had made a mistake and wanted to write it to someone else. but no. it was meant for me. 

omg! all the scenes that passed by in my head. should I just pretend that he never had written that. but no, i couldn´t. I can´t lie to my man. It´s not the first time this happen. With my ex boyfriend it happened, more than once actually. that his friends confessed that they had a crush on me. why is that? why do they do that? is it really a crush, or just a fling, or just because I always become close friend with my man´s friends? but just as friends. nothing else.  but it´s still not right of them to tell me. or is it? fuck. not again. not you. not now. please?

silence. 

.....

.....

....

....

.....

ok. i decided to reply in a funny way. when he told me. 

anna go with him. 

Fantastic! he just had been writing down the lyrics of the song. 

Help to die- the case of Eluana

The past couple of months it´s been a big debate here in Italy, whether the woman Eluana who has been artificially fed for 17 years since she has been in coma, can be released from the machines that keep her alive, or no. 

>>>Read this article about ELUANA<<<

I disagree with everybody who says that it´s murder. Her parents, who gave her life and who loved her, they knew her best, and what life is it to be there in the hospital only alive thanks to machines? 

No, I´m relieved for her that her suffering and her family´s suffering is finally over.

RIP. 

pink nails

is what I wanna have. but i have to be smart. just got back from the mall. i live right behind it actually. convenient, yes but only if you have money to spend. today i did though. not my money, my friends money for our other friend's birthday that was yesterday. complicated, yes I know. i think im good. maybe I should be a personal shopper. (people have actually suggested that in the past. and do you know how many russians that come here to rome now and spend their money. well...many! the problem is I don't speak russian....and they don't speak italian. nor english. (hm....gotta think about that one.) anyway that was only a parenthesis)
so (i hope she doesn't read this now, but she works at the office at Fendi, and they've blocked internet. so I highly doubt that she will...) I bought on sale for once....funny really, when I go for sales I always, always, always find the new stuff, but for others I find on sale. great!
anyhow, i got her yellow boots from bershca...and a really nice black scarf with flowers from H&M. sweet i wish it was for me. but I have to wait. i love to give people gifts though, when i know they'd like them. otherwise, just to buy a gift for the sake of buying one. doesn't make sense, am I right or am I right?

ok, i was wrong...

god damn it! ok I have to admit. I was wrong. this blondinbella.se...actually writes well. and she is a very smart businesswoman i must say. you go girl! 

here she is. 

upset...

I am upset! you don´t comment. does it mean that I suck too? or because you are lazy. cause I know you read. Big sister is watching YOU! 

get paid!

read the swedish online newspaper this morning and on the financial pages I found out that in Sweden there are two girls who are writing blogs, and they have about 300 visits per hour. not bad. they also, due to this high reader numbers, have a pay check from sponsors for about 5000 euros a month. not bad. what is bad however is their writing!!! god, their swedish is so bad. I don´t know if maybe it´s a new "cool" way of writing amongst youngsters in Sweden, but I got allergic and couldn´t force myself to read it. 

What they are writing about? hahaha I really have no clue. didn´t make sense at all to me. but thumbs up for them for making money on crap, and people are complaining over the financial crisis??? hahahahha

if you understand Swedish you should judge for yourself

www.kissies.se and www.blondinbella.se 

bdays and parties

this week has been full of b-days and parties. god. yesterday there was a bday party of an old friend. 500 invited. theme-romanzo criminale. right, i was like you. what the f is romanzo criminale? anyway...it's an old maffia movie from the 70s. good party. open bar and beautiful people. good friends and my love. can't be a better party no?

today there is three bdays in one. doesn't help me who isn't the richest girl on earth right now. do you think my presence would be enough? hm...

plus the fact that everybody always asks me to buy the common gift from all of us. great. with what money people???

the wind is turning around though...and it looks good.

tomorrow i start my new job as events manager for www.ggadv.it and www.co2gallery.com all i ever wanted to do, advertising, art and events- all in one! jackpot!

...

it's raining. everywhere i think. inside and outside.

big things happening

right now there are some major decisions i need to take, and big things are about to happend.
i think that in the end...it's all gonna be good. hopefully even fantastic.

something that is fantastic already is this. take some minutes, sit back and just enjoy. the music, the enthusiasm, the hard work of >>>kings of leon<<<

nothing

we are waiting for nothing. nothing isn't waiting for us. just think about it.

like a feather

that is how I feel now. light as a feather. after I interpreted my dream yesterday something happend. something that made me realize many things. I'm one step in the right direction. for once.

Jumbo jet and playstation

that was my dream about last night. it's not the first time though, more like the third.
I'm on this jumbojet ready to take off, but we never do, instead we continue on the highway. last night was the highway from New York. All of a sudden we take off but only to do a loop and then land back on the highway with the cars...the pilot was really young and played playstation instead of flying the plane. and that's it. that's the dream that keeps coming back.
so today i tried to interpret it however since it doesn't seem to be a common dream (oh dear, i wonder why?) i had to split the dream into words like flying, highway, looping etc.
the answer was quite close to the truth. Scary!!!

here is something to keep my mind of it, and yes you're soooo right, in a cheesy manner I dedicate it to my man!



It's the new collaboration between Italian's biggest export Laura Pausini and England's James Blunt. Sweet mix. I think. The title is Primavera in anticipo- which means spring ahead. and it's true...spring is coming closer you guys!!!

bored? what? no.....YES

i have ants in my body...they´re everywhere, and they just wanna get out. at least that´s how I feel like now. today is the 8th day i´ve been lying in bed. only watching tv (realizing once again how much italian tv sucks with victoria silvstedt acting like a dumb- pumped- up- blonde in a game show?!) This morning I woke up early with more cramps, i hope they were the last once. then rice agaaaaain, and I flipped out. got dressed and went out to sit on the balcony, to at least change view. sat there 1,5 minute before my man came out and carried me inside and put me to bed again, just like a kid. arghhhhhhh it´s so frustrating being sick!

anyway to not watch italian TV I´ve been watching a lot of mtv. this is what i found.

I like this tune and the video is very retro. 

Then i realized that these two rappers...must be twins, seperated at birth? 

the problem is that one is swedish the other italian.

fabri fibra

and >>>petter.<<<