spreading my wings...

...to learn how to fly! wow it's getting closer to my departure, and Im getting really really nervous and cold feet. I have this one chance, it's now or never.

I'm trying to figure out all the papers I need to fill out, what a hassle! I just need to do a check list and do it step by step, if not, Im getting too confused and scared!

even though Im on my own two legs, I have my man to lean on, he supports me, encourages me and is just being great! what would I do without him? Just having him looking at me fills me with strength and it makes me feel like I can conquer the world. I might. ;)

ok time to get back to the paper work and all the serious things- called life!

this...

is how my life is now. what I wake up to and go to bed to and live through the day. amazing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gcMmRL6_r24

your thoughts are mine

that's what he said yesterday. I don't want to give him too many of my problems right now. the club is enough. so after a nice night at the movies we got home, and I didn't say anything. the thing is though that we don't, need to say anything that is. we just understand each other. so yesterday of course he knew. and his words were "your thoughts are mine."

how can I not love him? it's like we are one. not two.

i know, im sorry, im being waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too cheesy these days. it will stop.

butterflies at this time of year?

really? are there? o no, sorry they're in my stomach.

or am I dreaming? i seriously dont know how to explain the feeling. so I won't. it's just like this. i mean can we always explain everything? no.

i got my family back. someone that knows me better than myself. that when I say something, but mean something else really, he gets it. right away. when I say something stupid, he tells me, but laughs with me because it is because he gets why. god, im being cheesy. the best part is though, that he is too.

Im so happy, im back in "real" life with my friends and in Roma bella Roma. Sweet is short though. Im leaving in a week. However Im getting cold feet. Should I really leave again. the answer is unfortunately yes. I have a job offer in LA, two maybe, I cannot not go. I mean I love to help my man out, but it's not my club, it's his. I need to do something for me, make money for me. the other night at dinner with my girls, my sweet girls, I got into a discussion with one of them, only because we love each other we can do that ehehe, and she is really angry with me that Im leaving again. She has been living like me for the same amount of time, moving around and traveling around a lot. She told me, "Anna don't do it. Don't leave. you have your man here, he is your family, don't loose it once again. Don't do it to yourself. A job is a job, money comes and goes, but this no. "

i was defending myself or the situation at first, but then getting back home, I started to think about it. Am I being stupid leaving it all behind again? Or will it be different this time around?

I have a good thing going though. and this time it will be different. I'll make sure it will.

i just hope that Im right.

Im tired of moving around, leaving things behind and getting hurt and hurting. it's not me.

to be apart

helps sometimes. it hurts a lot too. but then once you're together again, it's better than ever!

I am so happy and fortunate! I have mon amour that is the sweetest and bestest ever!

Once again we'll have to suffer for a bit, but then it's going to be forever! life is hard, sometimes it's not fair, and sometimes it's fantastic.

life <3

these three last days, I believe have been the best in my life. It feels like it at least. mamma mia. i had forgotten how it could feel, to feel this good. i'm really happy, it feels like Im finally starting to live again, whereas before it felt like I was always waiting for something. now I know what it was. it was this. this is it.

been on the road today. italy is so beautiful, it really feels like being in a movie. and I was speechless, fell in love all over again!

the nature is amazing. A M A Z I N G!

even though Im blue and violet and all soar... it was definitely worth snowboarding, i just love it.

I love Roma

http://fairtilizer.com/track/74248

great tune, performed by friends!

sometimes....

life has already made a plan for you. sometimes it's stronger than you. sometimes it's just meant to be. like now. this is it.

let's try!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lybghW8IQNo

transition period= check!

i had forgotten that every time I move to another country, even if I have lived there before, there is always some kind of confusion due to the transition period. If you haven't lived, but only traveled, you won't understand the feeling, it is really weird. the first days, well weeks even, you don't really know where you are, who to call, cause you have friends in both places and you might be more used to the ones in the place you just left behind. I had it even worse this time. I did, in two weeks, LA, OC, SD, NYC, Rome, Gothenburg, and now back in Rome. No wonder I was confused. but BIG time.

at first I was very depressed, didn't talk to anybody really. now Im back to my old life. however, modified a little bit. I am modified, determined to not go under in this beautiful boot shaped country of Italy. It is a mystery why I love this country so much. the food, yes! the wine, yes! the traffic, no! the people, well not really most are really rude actually! (except my dear friends of course), and nothing really works.

I have a plan. I can't let go of Italy, it's a too big of a part of me, plus on Saturday Im turning a year older. Jeez time flies! And since Im a woman I need to think about the future a bit more than a man my age. or no? so I have decided to have my base in Europe, after all my family is here, and this time I really really enjoyed being in Sweden, maybe because I've reached a certain age?

Im not letting go of California though, no Im gonna find a way of having both. Actually the way already found me! I've applied for the OPT and got it, because I've been studying. Im not gonna let that pass me by.

to be continued....

2010!

I am determined to make 2010 a fantastic year! I am, and I will.

after all, it's my life, in my hands, my decisions and my feelings. nobody elses.

only that .... it hasn't started that great. what that means though is that it can only get better, or no? confusion confusion and soon Ill turn a year older. again. this is life my dear friends. and yes... im a bit depressed.