i know how the hamster feel like

I swear I do, I know how the hamster must be feeling, so stressed running around on its wheel. I know cause Ive been feeling like that. lately I've been kind of moody. If you've been around me you've probably noticed... my parents asked me everyday, "what is your problem?" i wasn't sure myself. was it a culture shock, or what?
now I finally realized what it is. it's them, my parents!!!
after having been living away from home since I was 18 and only have been visiting from time to time maximum 2 weeks at a time, I'm not used to living with them anymore. and they with me. well, it's nothing but normal, after all I'm getting close to 30.
but since yesterday morning i have their house to myself! and it's great! I'm loving it! I love to be alone!
having them around naggin all the time, do this, do that, think about this, think about that, could you please, be so kind, no not there-there...well you get the point, we've all been kids. EXACTLY, KIDS! it's not normal to be treated like that as an adult. really it's not. i guess they still think I'm 3 though..... well I just have to remind them when they'll get back to add another 0 to that number! and then, maybe then, we can live peacefully again... instead of feeling like a freakin hamster!

getting scary

my life is getting scary now. i got my paycheck the other day. always good. nice to have my own money, but with it comes real life. real bills to pay, real job to go to, everyday. you gotta do everyday things that everybody does more or less. it's just that I haven't been living a *normal* life in a long time. Im really scared of everyday life. habits. Im scared im gonna get bored. stuck. but then again... why would I? i need stability. can't live like a gypsy no more.

i've changed

and Im still changing...
a lot of things have happened lately. maybe too many. I've never been more confused than I am right now. Im currently in Sweden, trying to get "swedenalized", it's not as easy as one might think. I haven't lived here for so long. I look swedish, I speak swedish (somewhat hehe) and some parts of me are swedish, others are not. Im very italian.
it's quite confusing when people expect you to act in one way, and you act in another.
they look at you like "who does she think she is?" all I can say is: please, bare with me, be patient. i'm trying, and let me tell you, it's not easy. sometimes it gets sooo frustrating that I just wanna scream, run away and hide and cry. i'm having a culture shock in my own country.