butterflies at this time of year?

really? are there? o no, sorry they're in my stomach.

or am I dreaming? i seriously dont know how to explain the feeling. so I won't. it's just like this. i mean can we always explain everything? no.

i got my family back. someone that knows me better than myself. that when I say something, but mean something else really, he gets it. right away. when I say something stupid, he tells me, but laughs with me because it is because he gets why. god, im being cheesy. the best part is though, that he is too.

Im so happy, im back in "real" life with my friends and in Roma bella Roma. Sweet is short though. Im leaving in a week. However Im getting cold feet. Should I really leave again. the answer is unfortunately yes. I have a job offer in LA, two maybe, I cannot not go. I mean I love to help my man out, but it's not my club, it's his. I need to do something for me, make money for me. the other night at dinner with my girls, my sweet girls, I got into a discussion with one of them, only because we love each other we can do that ehehe, and she is really angry with me that Im leaving again. She has been living like me for the same amount of time, moving around and traveling around a lot. She told me, "Anna don't do it. Don't leave. you have your man here, he is your family, don't loose it once again. Don't do it to yourself. A job is a job, money comes and goes, but this no. "

i was defending myself or the situation at first, but then getting back home, I started to think about it. Am I being stupid leaving it all behind again? Or will it be different this time around?

I have a good thing going though. and this time it will be different. I'll make sure it will.

i just hope that Im right.

Im tired of moving around, leaving things behind and getting hurt and hurting. it's not me.