weak

...I tried to stand up today. my legs will barely hold me up. well no wonder, they haven't gotten any energy the last week and they haven't been used. I feel like bambi on ice. sweet.


im tired of this diet though-rice and water. like my friend said, it's worse than prison food.


today has been a beautiful day. so sunny and warm. everybody is out snowboarding, even my man. he needed to get out poor thing, he has been in with me all week. now my head is spinning, i think it's time for bed.

here we go again!

great! since I always get everything i should´ve known that I would get this one too. the problem is that I hadn´t even heard about it, until i had it, and trust me, I can feel it. it´s cramps continuously, day and night. today I went to the doc he gave me some shots and told me that all I can do is eat rice, drink water and not move out of bed. for another couple of days! omg!! then he gave me a tap on the shoulder and said, I know it´s bad...it´s one of the worst viruses in existence today. maybe salmonella is worse. (yes I´ve had that too) great! now I feel so much better! not. 

this is how my stomach looks like now....the small little bastards are having a feast!

enough!

enough with being sick...i´ve been in bed since monday. not fun. I wanna work, wanna go out. rome is beautiful now, sunny and warm. 

but no, im in bed. thank god my man has been, and is, at home taking care 

of me!

like a movie

this video just popped up on mtv, I thought it was so sweet. I always wondered how it would´ve been living in that era with the dresses like this and the hopeless romantics....well at least in the movies....

italians

...are charming, sexy, "cultural"....and so very immature, at least if you compare to some other nationalities, like Swedish for example. It´s a cognitive behavior, what their friends do and think, they do too. my italian friends in their 30s are living like my swedish friends did in their 20s, and who now are having families. if you ask an italian at age 30 about kids, they freak out and answer you "what? me? nooo i´m just a kid myself!" and they´re so right...they are kids. it´s both good and bad. for me right now it´s good, since Im 27 and i too, have so many things that I want to have done before starting a family. so i guess all I wanted to say is that Im lucky to be in-between. 

however Im still not over the fact that every day i have to hear about "she cheated on him, but its ok because he cheats too on her." and "oh is it your lover or your girlfriend?" etc etc....

I know that cheating is universal but the percentage in italy is 80% who cheats vs the rest of the world where maybe 30-40% cheats.....mamma mia!!! where is the love people? 

I was on Italian tv

last night I was on italian tv, without knowing about it. it was my man who told me, i was sound a sleep and not willing to wake up, even as he said he had been shaking me, anyway...watched the episode today. scary...to see someone look like me. nice that she is italy´s number 1 top model though...

>>>......check it out.....<<<

meaningless...

...equations, that are not of value are called absurdities. 

I´ve decided to do like the Vick´s commercial says...to start from the possibilities instead of the problems. hopefully that tactic works better. we´ll see....

or as my dad showed me when i was a kid....we start from here..

god damn it!

if it was for the surrounding only, my choice would be simple. it's not.

life...

...is a collection of experiences. that's what a smallworld's newsletter read. so that means that my life has a great collection. or i don't know. my co-worker talked about me yesterday to my friend. he said,

"if anna didn't exsist it would be impossible to replace her, she is amazing."

hrm...well thank you!

however it's impossibile for me to think right now...all i wanna do is let go of all thoughts and just float along. but how can i do that? Im the boss over my collection, i'm the one deciding over the subjects in that collection. but it's hard. right now it's really hard. I know changes are good, it will help me develop. but the process in between, is hell. HELL people! even when i sleep i dream about taking decisions, life-changing decisions.

I wish i just had to decide whether to keep my barbie collection or not, it would've been soooo much easier.

it´s lagom

in swedish there is a word that Im missing in the other languages. the word is lagom. 

cause right now Im lagom full, lagom tired, and lagom happy that I have to work tonight. 

here you can get an explanation if you´re curious >>>lagom<<<

swedish-on distance

my man had to get up early this morning. well early for us, for you it might be late, 9.30 am. since he always brings me breakfast to bed, so he did this morning, and then it´s actually nice to get up early (sometimes). to get some inspiration and look around what other people blog about i went online elle.se and damernasvarld.se (do you remember, where I got some good articles from earlier this winter?) anyhow, people are actually worse bloggers than me, and they get awarded, attention and paid for it? oh my dear god! however to get into the mood-the swedish mood, I´m also listening to P3, the swedish radio, to get updated on some good music, ( I really love their playlist, a mix of everything, and in between you can hear the soft chiciticaowoah you know the sound they should play on every radio station.

in fashion times like these with fashion weeks everywhere, even stockholm had one and elle.se had a ceremony. looking at the mingle pics made me smile. I love how the swedes are dressing. it´s not the boring classical italian and black that Im so used to seeing here in Rome. It´s colorful, crazy and vibrant for the swedes. me like! 

but then again...scandinavia have a problem...if something is in at the moment, everybody dresses like that. that´s why it´s good to be a swede-on distance, that means I can choose how swedish i wanna be, and still have my italian features! life is great, isn´t it?!!

some pics from elle.se 

 and then some swedish sound to this....

becoming normal again?

slowly slowly im waking up. since I graduated...almost two years ago, I've been in some kind of haze. I think it's due to the fact that I have been studying and being too busy with other activities like starting up a company, working extra etc. and always, always been busy with too many things going on.

so after I got my degree, i became a zombie, unable to even watch tv, documentaries, read books, even magazines for a while. I couldn't even listen to people talking about problems, or their life situations, cause I was too fed up with my own. no more energy. no more will. it was like my brain was too full of information.

now almost two years after i have started to watch movies, read books and watch documentaries again. also, Im looking forward to making plans for the future, moving, going back to study and actually becoming normal again. and it feels good people! i think my body and brain have had their time of rest now, and that they are ready to start to work again. for once Im actually excited about tomorrow!

funny shit

lazy day today...not working so instead we cancelled the maid and I cleaned. my man thought I had hit my head or something, but that's how bored I am that i actually enjoyed cleaning.
then since I have all this time on my hands I surf the net. the internet that is, and not surfing the waves, but Im sure you are not just a bunch of pretty faces so i assume that you got that.
anyhow...came across these two youtube clips...funny shit.!

the first one is a good evidence on why my coach always told me when I played tournaments, that when I curse, i need to do it in Swedish so that no one else understands.
just like this guy...



and then we have this one....



thank god im not the only one making a fool out of myself....you should have seen what I did at the Olympic games in Torino in 2006......thank god that didn't get on youtube, eh...right?

p.s. the tennis player is actually yelling...
"bitch, you are a fucking idiot, you are so stupid, do you get that? Fuck it's not the first time that you're destroying me. "

when I played i said things like that too, when you play you kinda loose it you know...hahaha

the sushi...

is on it's way. I'm happy! today it's been a year living together with my man. and we are celebrating with sushi and champagne at home, talking about our next home. in la jolla. sweet I say, I don't know what you'd say but hey...Im happy, hope that you are too!

so my plan B turns out to be plan A, yet a little revised.

my birthday turned out to be great, dinner, wine, vodka shots, singing, drinking, more eating, more drinking. oh did i mention some more vodka shots and more swedish shot songs too?? then champagne and cake! then more dancing and more vodka, and yet some more, i believe...my memory got a little blurry after all the shots. but if I can't remember it means that i had fun.

the day after, and the day after again...i didn't feel too well though. yes maybe beacuse it was 27 candles on the cake???

my bday

is today!!! yeeeeeehooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
happy birthday to me!




i just had to put it there... it makes me laugh!


and for you who understand swedish this is what my grandparents just sang to me on the phone...
"ha den aran idag och hopppas du ar glad, for ar man inte det pa sin fodelsedag nar faaan ska man da vara glad. hurra" hm...later lite skumt skrivet, men sjungt ar det valdigt fint!

remeber always...

to have a plan B people!!!! I'm telling you! I might be in some trouble now cause I haven't thought of a plan B, and it looks like I might be needing one. I got my plan A today, the visa for the States, but OMG after september 11th they've made it into a thesis to actually get the real documents in your passport. I need to sit down and think this weekend. I really do.
This is serious decision that will most likely change my life. forever.

the older you get the harder decisions you have to make. oh god I wish I was a
child again.

something Im sure of though. My life needs to change. if not today, on Monday. Mondays are always good for changes. Don't we always say, "on Monday I will change." ?
On Monday bloody monday. Why is that, why don't we just say I will change now? Maybe because deep inside of us we know...that we won't change after all, and if we put it ahead in time, it will be easier to neglect the fact that we didn't. well...I don't know. I just know I need a plan B.

there's always something

that makes my heart beat a little faster and my mind fly away. like when you think of nice moments, friends, your love. and then there are moments like these...when you find out that you've been told a lie... even if it is a white one. it still makes my little heart beat faster.
it will past though...and this is what ill remember of my beating heart.

sweet thought of mine

NOTE: the image above is made during christmas. I was in Sweden and my friend asked me what I was thinking in exactly that moment....so I told him and this is the result! you can enjoy his creativity on http://www.johansilandsproblem.blogg.se/

wooohooooo what a ride

I think my headache is stress. M told me so. Think she's right actually. then I was wondering why, and it came to me....my birthday is coming closer. I'm not turning 30, yet, but when i was young I didn't imagine my life at this age to be what mine is now. You know what though?? It's all good. Im happy where I am today. and...

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways,
champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out, and screaming `WOO-HOO What a ride!

my head

hurts. and it have been hurting the last couple of days. annoying!
i started to work though. not doing anything really, overlooking the others who are working. well, I can't complain since I get paid!

it's cold. Im confused. on Friday is my birthday.

cut the crap

just cut it guys! we understand what you intend to say anyways....or at least we believe we do after a vodka or two...

sweet

sweet sweet sweet. have more then 1 job lined up now. wish me luck!
it looks like my lazy days are over, and i like it!
jihooooooooooooooo

all good

after all, i´m all good. happy, positive. it´s a good thing. I feel like my old self. 

yesterday i got a job offer, managing a restaurant/club. I can´t take it cause Ill be gone by then, but just the fact that the offered the position to me, made my day! 

I got another job though, i´m gonna bartend. at least I´ll be doing something with all this time. 

so I´ll be .....

.....until March. 

  

bollywood

went to the cinema last night. we saw slumdog millionaire. it was a good movie, maybe 40 min too long though. my man told me he was amused when the girl to his right was crying a river and then looked over on me only to see me yawn. well I´m sorry im only sensitive sometimes. 

the actors were really good. the movie was interesting, you never lost the attention due to the fact that it was jumping back and forth in time. the soundtrack wasn´t bad either. maybe because M.I.A. is one of my favorites though. the last scene was spectacular and bollywood doc with the whole crew doing the same dance to this song...

another funny song....

if i only...

could sing! i mean, I can, everybody that can talk can sing, but if it´s good or not depends. Im not one of the better ones. but if i only could sing, Im sure I would´ve been a famous star now. like rihanna for example. or leona lewis. oh god she´s good! i just have to face it, im not! 

im sure I have other good qualites though. hm...well...at least something no? 

I remember in school in 9th grade we had to say what we thought our classmates profession would be. My classmates thought I should have a radio show with the motivation "you talk too much, and nobody listens" haha well thanks!  

no, i will just continue living my life...and let rihanna sing. 

gotta leave

the maid is coming. haha not even cleaning I can do, since we have a maid. fantastic you might think. well it is. but what do I do? im gonna go to the mall now. not spending money, that will be interesting to see how I'll manage.

marriage for a man?

does really every man think of marriage like walter here?



hahaha i guess so....actually i think they only talk like walter but they love us anyway! right? 

desperate housewife

arghhhhhhhhh im pulling my hair. how do they do it, these housewifes??? i´m going crazy not having anything to do. the highlight of the day is to go grocery shopping and waiting for my man to get home. well another two more months...then it will change. but please find me something to do! 

now im heading over to M to have lunch and take a walk and enjoy the beautiful streets of Rome. 

living on air and love

two months to kill, that's what I have, what I don't have though is a fucking clue what to do until then. I mean can I just be floating around, living on air and love? i doubt it. if you have any suggestions please feel free to let me know..like now? immediately please?!

I can always write my blog, but I don't make money doing that. yet. looked on my stats and it's looking...hm interesting. people have been googling for "delicious nipples" and found my blog. I'm sorry to make you dissapointed guys, don't think that you were looking for a blog maybe?

while thinking about what to do...Im just gonna imagine me here in a house on the beach...

a night from a fairytale

from not having anything to do at new years, we didn't have any expectations. me and my man stayed in Rome went around bars and then to a "dinner party."it was a joke. not even when I was 16 i attended parties like that, and on new years too? after arriving, having looked around, grabbing a plate of pasta with olive oil and garlic (?) we decided to leave. we did well.

we went to casina valadier, with the view of rome. it was him and me. me and him. and it turned out to be wonderful. we had a lot of champagne, laughs and dances. he was my prince and I his princess and the night was our fairytale.